


the waiting is the hardest part

by Adarian



Category: Dragon Age: Origins
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-11
Updated: 2018-07-11
Packaged: 2019-06-08 23:17:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,577
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15254244
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Adarian/pseuds/Adarian
Summary: Zevran propositions Cousland only to be gently rebuffed as the Warden is fairly inexperienced and wants a serious relationship first. Zevran decides to seduce him, expecting to charm him into bed. Yet he is the one captivated and finds himself falling in love with a man he has never even kissed.





	the waiting is the hardest part

**Author's Note:**

> Based on a kink-meme prompt for Zevran falling in love with a prudish romantic Warden. How cute is it that in game you can have a chaste romance with Zevran? I love it. I love it so much. Also, it's Nanoseason so thus all the fanfictions as I procrastinate from my original work to do all the things in my fanfiction ideas list lol

Less than a week after they met, Zevran was convinced that the Warden wanted him and was too shy to make a move. It was not unheard of, for a nobleman to hide his inclination for the same gender. And of course, there was a power imbalance between them and Cousland seemed to worry about forcing Zevran to do things that he did not want to do. 

But Zevran, very much, wanted to do him and he decided to be direct.

One night at camp, Zevran lingered in his conversation with Cousland, his hand on his arm, his glance never leaving his. Cousland seemed receptive and even blushed a little. He smiled so prettily, so softly, and Zevran knew already he would be a screamer. And Zevran loved a man who did not hesitate to make his pleasure known.

As the evening winded down, Zevran walked him to his tent and hesitated outside the flap. Cousland paused too, seeming to not wish to their time together to end.

"We should probably get some sleep," Cousland said sheepishly. 

"That does not have to be done separately, Warden," Zevran said, putting his hand on his chest. He looked up at him, desire stirring already in him. He waited for Cousland's response but he only went bright red.

The Warden stammered, "Do you mean..."

"I mean some pleasant conversation and falling asleep in each other's arms. After I, of course, unravel you with my fingers and tongue. At least twice."

Cousland gave a near silent whimper and then said, "I - Zev, I'm not like that."

"You are not interested in men?"

"No, I mean yes, I am, very much so. Women too. But I like guys."

Zevran hesitated. "But you are not interested in me?"

Cousland refused, "No, no, I like you. I...I like you a lot, actually. But I don't do things like this. I can't do this. Not with you, not right now. I um...can't. I made a promise." 

"You wish to wait until you are married?"

Cousland's cheeks flushed further. "I'm not a virgin. Not really, at least. I've fooled around a little with two people and I did a bit more than that with another. But the last one was when I was young and it was too fast, you know? If he hadn't been leaving, I probably wouldn't have and I still regret it a little. Maybe more than a little."

Zevran's ire rose in his chest. "Did he hurt you?"

Cousland assured, "No, no not at all. It was just because I wasn't ready. At the time I thought I was but I was sixteen and I thought I was in love. Afterwards, I made myself a promise. Only with someone serious. Only with someone I was really in love with. It's not like I've been celibate for years. I'm only twenty, after all. But it's not you, Zev, it's really not. I'm flattered, though, really."

Zevran was a little stunned but he found himself nodding along. He had been deceived more than a little by the Warden, even if the boy was far too sweet to have schemed so. He was young indeed, half a decade younger than he, even though Zevran had thought him older. He was certainly interested in men, yes, but the gaze he had noticed before must not have been one of lust. At least none that he intended to act upon. 

"I'm sorry," Cousland apologized. "I didn't hurt your feelings, did I?"

Zevran tried not to laugh but a chuckle escaped regardless. "No, my dear Warden, you did not. I will not trouble you further tonight on the subject. I hope I did not embarrass you too much. Sleep well."

Zevran left, priding himself on being a proper gentleman in appearance. On the inside, it was a different story. Zevran liked a challenge, especially one with such a charming smile and broad shoulders. 

But it was, when it came to it, much more difficult than he first could have imagined. When they were among the Dalish, Zevran snuck him away for moonlit drink alone in the forest. Curled up on a blanket, a bottle of wine just at their feet, Zevran leaned in for a kiss only for Cousland to be distracted by an injured wolf pup. Instead of ravishing each other under the stars, they spent the evening splinting the pup's leg and finding its mother.

In Redcliffe, he tried again to ply him with wine but when they arrived at the sole bar in town, Cousland took a liking to the waitress Bella and the two spent most of the evening discussing worker's rights. Zevran fell asleep somewhere between their discussions about arbitration and labour unions and woke to Cousland carrying him back up to his room and tucking him into bed. Alone.

Clearly, there was a flaw in his plans and Zevran decided he would have to be a bit more hands on. Luckily, he got his chance in Orzammar when the Prince twisted his ankle. Zevran called for their party to stop and he spent the evening tending to him. Cousland was even open enough to let Zevran massage his calves, though he spent most of it blushing intensely and stammered through their conversation. Zevran spent the next day walking beside him, ensuring that he could lean on him when he needed to.  
But when Cousland did turn to him in Haven, Zevran had no ulterior motives in comforting him. Zevran went inside but only lay beside him. Cousland turned to him and laid his head on his chest. Zevran held him, stroking his hair as he cried. The young man, who had been so strong and confident for months, had been reduced to sobbing in his tent so no one but Zevran could hear him. 

"There, mi amor," Zevran murmured. "It is alright. None of this has ever been your fault. You have done nothing wrong."

Eventually Cousland fell asleep and Zevran rose, his shirt now soaked with his tears. Zevran went to his own tent and lay on his back. He could not put a finger on what exactly he was feeling then. He was certainly hard after snuggling so closely to such a handsome man but it was like his heart was just as aroused. He considered engaging in a little self-pleasure but the usual fantasies fell flat. 

The next morning, he woke feeling as he had the night before. He desired something and he was not sure how to ease it. It only worsened as he walked by Cousland's side, the man now back to his usual cheerful self. He smiled at Zevran and things became clearer to him. 

When they broke for camp, Cousland asked him to take a walk down to the river. Zevran obliged him cautiously. He was unsure how wise it was to be near him alone. Not with how soft Cousland smiled, not with how kind his eyes were, not with how adorable his laugh was.

Cousland took off his boots and washed his feet and face in the river. Some of the water dripped down his throat and stained his shirt. Zevran fought the urge to lick it straight off him and washed as well.

After awhile, Cousland finally said, "I think...if you're interested in what you said before. I mean, months ago, about spending the night together. Well, I was thinking, I might want to do that too. If you still want to, I mean."

Zevran considered it for a moment. He was suggesting a night of fun but Zevran knew that was not what Cousland wanted. It was not what he wanted either. If he bedded him now, he would fall in love with him. And that was not something he could afford to do. This was not a relationship that could last past the war and before that had been fine but now...now he needed more. He hated himself for it but after all this time, he had to say no.

Zevran swallowed hard. "No. I do not think it is a good idea."

Cousland's face fell. "Oh...that's...that's okay then. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have brought it up. It was a while ago. Just...was it something I did?"

Zevran smiled weakly. "No, my friend. Nothing at all."

Cousland looked crestfallen and Zevran got to his feet and headed back to camp. He tried to act like it had not bothered him but his chest ached. He hated seeing anyone make that sweet boy sad and now he was the villain to do it. It was better. Cousland would regret their tumble and Zevran needed distance. It was painful now but it would be better later. 

They arrived in Denerim not long after. The younger Cousland reunited with his brother and the pair went off for a drink together, leaving the rest of the companions free for the evening. Zevran was wound too tightly and decided to go to the Pearl for a few drinks and a rub down by whatever worker had the nicest hands. To his surprise, he instead saw his old friend Isabela. The pirate waved him over and he joined her for a pint.

"You look like a puppy who had its bone taken away," Isabela commented. "What's wrong, my dear Zev? Anything I can do to make it better?"

Her hand rested on his thigh, her fingers brushing against his skin in a way that made it quite clear what she was offering. But he couldn't accept. Even if he wanted to, every beat of his heart was dedicated to someone else. Zevran had to leave. He had to speak to Cousland first and clear his head of whatever infatuation this was. 

He went back to Eamon's Estate only to find the Warden in the courtyard, deep conversation with his brother. Zevran snuck up to the upper walkway above them and hid between pillars to listen in. 

Fergus said softly, "I know you are young and it is difficult to imagine settling down with anyone. But it could bring peace to our country. The civil war would be over. You can do so much good in that position, little brother. Our parents would have been so proud to know that their son was Prince-Consort of Ferelden. Anora is older, yes, that isn't a bad thing. If she made the offer to me, I would accept it, but she's turned her eye to you. You should marry her, Adair. I know it doesn't seem like her, but you would learn to love her."

"I won't," Cousland insisted. "I can't. I can't marry her when I'm in love with someone else. I won't do it. Not for Ferelden, not even for you or our parents. It would break my heart and I don't think I would ever survive it. No, if I can't marry him than I will never marry anyone."

"You're in love?" Fergus asked in surprise. "You have met someone in your travels? Who? It's not Alistair, is it?" 

Cousland hung his head. "No, but it doesn't really matter. He doesn't feel the same."

Fergus held his brother's face in his hands. "Then do not throw everything away for him. At least consider everything I've said. This is a good choice and you could be very happy. Please, consider."

Adair nodded and his reply was too quiet for Zevran to hear. Fergus left, going inside the manor itself. Zevran put his hand on his chest, breathing slowly. His own racing thoughts were interrupted by the sounds of footsteps on the stairs. He looked over to see Adair, the young man's face blushing a beautiful shade of pink.

"I thought I heard you sneaking around," Cousland said sheepishly.

Zevran replied, "I admit that I am not the best at my skill set when you are around. It is difficult to pick a lock when my hands long to be on your hips. And my feet are not so silent when I am racing to hear your voice again."

Cousland's face faltered. "Don't joke, Zev. I'm guessing you heard all that and well, you know how I feel now. And you made it clear that you're not even interested in sex never mind anything else so...so..."

"I was not joking," Zevran admitted. "You...you often distract me and you make it difficult to anything without thinking of how it will affect you. I did not turn you down because I did not want you. It was because I wanted you too badly."

Cousland looked stunned. "What?"

Zevran breached the distance between them and took his hands in his. He was about to suggest the most foolish thing, the most absurd and ridiculous thing, but he had no other words for him but these.

Zevran confessed, "I love you. And I do not think I will ever love anyone as much as I love you. So if we are to be miserable in love, let us be miserable together. If you would have me, I would like very much to marry you." 

Cousland answered him with a crushing kiss. Zevran reveled in the taste of him and grasped at his body, pulling him closer. 

Cousland broke away and asked nervously, "Did you mean it?"

Zevran grinned. "Only if you say yes. Otherwise we will say it was a terrible joke at my own expense. Is it a yes?"

Cousland agreed, "Yes. Yes, I'll marry you."

Zevran kissed him hard, too overwhelmed to do anything else. Cousland pinned him against the pillar and Zevran wrapped a leg around him, grinding into him. Zevran felt him growing hard beneath him and he put his hand on his chest, gently pushing him away.

"Mi amor," Zevran said. "While I would love to celebrate our engagement by ravishing you right here and now, I think I owe you a much more romantic and pleasurable deflowering. And if you wish...I will wait until we belong to each other."

Cousland pressed his forehead to his, catching his breath. "I want a wedding, a real wedding, and that might not happen until the war is over. I can't wait that long, Zevran. I need you. I need you now."

The sheer want in the Warden's voice almost made Zevran change his mind. Almost. 

Zevran chuckled, "You are adorable when you are desperate." 

Cousland's voice softened, "Zev...please. Just in case. Just in case I don't make it. I don't want to die without having been with you." 

Zevran brought his hands in his and kissed him, softly and tenderly.

"I believe in you," Zevran admitted. "More than I have believed in anything. Let me perform an act of faith before I worship you like you truly deserve. I won't bed you until the war is over. Then...then if you still wish it, mi amor, then I will never deny you anything for the rest of our lives."

Cousland smiled and Zevran's heart skipped a beat. How could anything be as beautiful as the man before him? How could anything be as captivating and charming as his beloved's smile?

"I love you," Cousland said, so earnestly and joyfully. "I really do." 

Zevran beamed and brought him close, holding him almost as if they were slowly dancing. Cousland kissed his neck and Zevran shivered pleasurably.

He had waited eight months for him already. He could wait a little longer.


End file.
